Drops of Jupiter
by SFGrl
Summary: Monica leaves to find herself, and returns to find that she isn't the only one who has changed. C/M complete


I love this song, and just had to do something with it.   
I own no one.   
  
Um, Monica and Chandler are living together, Rachel lives with Joey, and Ross and Pheobe live alone.   
  
**Excerpts from "Drops of Jupiter" by Train   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Drops of Jupiter   
  
  
Monica sat alone and in the dark inside her apartment. She sighed heavily. Her life up to   
this point had been pretty good. She had finally fallen for the perfect guy, she had a job   
she loved, and friends surrounding her. But inside, she felt empty. There was something   
missing, something vital. She could not figure out what it was. She just know that she could   
not find what she was looking for here. She stood up, and walked toward the front door.   
She hesitated, wondering if this was the only way to find what she was needing so desperately   
to find. She wiped a solitary tear from her cheek, as she placed the cream-coloured envelope   
on the table, picked up her suitcase, and walked out the door.   
  
*   
  
Chandler stared at the words on the paper before him, still unable to register them.   
His vision blurred, as he once again felt the sting of tears in his eyes. She had to   
find herself. What did that mean? What had he done wrong? Was she ever coming home?   
A million questions flooded his mind, as he unconsciously crumpled the paper in his hands.   
  
  
****   
  
Six Months Later   
  
****   
  
  
Chandler sat in his barcalounger, staring blankly at the tv. Joey walked in, and made a   
beeline for the fridge. As it had been every day for the past six months, the fridge was empty.   
  
"Chandler, you gotta buy some food, man," Joey said, as he took a seat on the sofa.   
"Uh-huh," Chandler replied absently.   
Joey sighed and walked back into the kitchen, as Ross and Rachel came in.   
"Hey, we got pizza!" Ross announced.   
"It's about time!" Joey said, digging into two slices.   
"Chandler, you'd better get some before Joey eats it all," Rachel said.   
"Yeah," Chandler replied, not moving.   
Rachel turned to Ross and Joey, lowering her voice to a whisper.   
"I really think we need to do something. I mean, this is NOT healthy!"   
The two men nodded, as they chewed their food.   
The three friends stared at Chandler sadly, knowing in their hearts that there was nothing that   
any of them could do. It was then that the door opened, and everyone except Chandler turned to   
greet Phoebe.   
  
They were shocked to see that it wasn't Pheobe after all.   
  
"Monica?" Ross' voice was barely above a whisper. The others simply stood, jaws dropped in   
shock as Monica set down her suitcase and walked into the apartment. She greeted her friends   
warmly, then turned to the living room, where Chandler was now standing, his face contorted   
into a look that bordered on anger, confusion, and sadness.   
The other three made a quick and silent departure, as Monica walked toward Chandler.   
  
"Hi," was all she could say.   
Chandler couldn't even get that far. He was shocked, elated, angry, sad, relieved and confused.   
The woman that stood before him wasn't the same woman who had left. That, he could see in her   
eyes. But it wasn't just that. Her hair, once a long and flowing cascade of ebony silk, was   
now cropped short, and streaked with chunky strands of burgandy. Her makeup, always natural   
and conservative, was now darker and more dramatic. But the biggest change was how she carried   
herself. She had a more relaxed air about her. She seemed to have melded into a different   
person altogether.   
"Chandler, I know you probably hate me, but just let me explain..."   
"Hate you?" Chandler finally found his voice. "I love you too much to hate you."   
Monica smiled, as Chandler continued.   
"But Mon...I feel like I don't even know you. Who are you? Where have you been? Why did you   
leave? What did I do?" Chandler's voice cracked as he uttered the last question.   
"Chandler," Monica interrupted softly, "you didn't do anything. I just...I lost something, and   
I had to leave to find it. I needed to do it alone, because I didn't know what it was I was   
looking for. And I couldn't tell you, because I knew that you would beg me to stay. And I   
would have. I would have for you. But I needed to go."   
Chandler looked more confused, but didn't say anything. He nodded, urging her to continue.   
"As for where I have been. Well, I've been everywhere!" Monica's eyes sparkled, as she   
continued dreamily. "I've been to the moon! To the stars! I've seen things I've always   
wanted to see, done things I've always wanted to do. I released my soul, and it felt amazing!   
I've never felt anything so wonderful in my life!" Monica sighed contently, and plopped down   
onto the sofa. Chandler nodded, and swallowed hard. His insecurities and fears hit a new level.   
Monica had found something, and she was obviously much happier. But in that time, she had done it all   
without him in her life. He felt like crying, or throwing something, or walking out the door,   
and never coming back. She had hurt him deeply, she had abandoned everything that they had   
shared, and had come back to tell him how happy she was. Suddenly, Chandler felt his sadness   
melt into anger. He sighed, fighting to control it, but he could feel his face turning red.   
"You've never been so happy? Well, I am happy for you Monica, I really am." His words were   
bitter and sarcastic.   
"Chandler, I didn't mean it like that."   
"No, of course you didn't. But you DID mean to leave me a year ago. And whatever it was that   
you found out there, I hope it was worth it. Because you shattered me. You killed every nuance   
of life I had in my heart and soul the day you left me. I am happy that you were able to find   
everything you've ever wanted, Monica. I just wish you could have found it all with me."   
Chandler felt stubborn tears fill his eyes again, and he angrily pushed them away, remembering   
that he had vowed never to cry over Monica again.   
"I said I could never hate you because I love you too much. The truth is, I don't know what   
love is, and I don't know what hate is. I feel nothing, because it's easier than dealing with   
the feelings you've left me with. I..." Chandler shook his head, and walked toward the door,   
grabbing his jacket. He looked back at Monica sadly, and Monica took in the sadness and   
darkness that filled his once-clear blue eyes.   
"I need air," he said quietly, and walked out the door.   
  
Monica sat in stunned silence. She knew that she had hurt Chandler, but she wasn't fully aware   
of how much she had hurt him. Maybe it was because she was too cowardly to tell him to his face   
that she was leaving. She had just told him that she couldn't face him because she would have   
listened when he asked her to stay. The truth was, she didn't want to see the pain in his eyes   
when she told him.   
In her heart, she knew that she'd have to face that pain someday. Now that day was here,   
and she felt a pain in her heart like none she'd felt before. She had hurt the one person she   
needed most. Although she had found herself in the six months she was away, she never felt   
complete, and she knew that it was because Chandler wasn't there with her. She had hoped   
that he would be able to forgive her for hurting him. But now that she'd seen how much she'd   
hurt him, she knew that she had a lot of work ahead of her.   
  
  
"Tell me did you sail across the sun   
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded   
And that heaven is overrated   
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star   
One without a permanent scar   
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there..."   
  
**   
  
Chandler was gone for several hours. Around midnight, it began to rain, and Monica grew   
increasingly concerned. She'd talked to all of her friends, but no one had seen Chandler.   
She was beginning to understand how he must have felt six months ago. She sank into the sofa,   
and watched as the now torrential rain slid steadily down the windows. Monica felt warm, wet   
tears slide down her cheeks, as she recalled the look on Chandler's face when he had left, making   
her feel even worse.   
  
It was close to 3am when Chandler finally returned. He was soaked to the bone, and shivering.   
Monica bolted from the sofa when he came in.   
"Chandler, are you okay?"   
"Yeah," he muttered, and headed toward the bedroom. Monica followed close behind.   
"Chandler, I am so, so sorry. I..."   
"Monica, can we talk about this later? I'm freezing. I want to take a shower."   
"Yeah, sure, I'm sorry..."   
Chandler walked past Monica and into the bathroom. Monica headed to the kitchen to make   
Chandler some soup and hot chocolate. She opened the refridgerator, and was shocked by what   
she saw. She had never seen her fridge so empty. She would have to run to the convenience   
store on the corner. The shower was still running, so Monica hoped Chandler would be a bit   
longer. She scribbled him a short note, grabbed an umbrella and a jacket, and headed out the door.   
  
Chandler walked out of the bathroom, dressed in flannel pyjamas. He was still cold, so   
he grabbed a blanket from the sofa. That was when he noticed that he was alone.   
"Monica?" he called out.   
There was no answer, so Chandler searched the bedrooms and even the hallway. He sighed heavily.   
Had it all been some weird dillusion? Was he dreaming? If that was the case, why was he so cold?   
He sat down on the sofa, and felt new tears stinging his eyes. Monica walked in moments later.   
"I'm back," she said, dropping her plastic bags onto the table and shaking off her jacket.   
Chandler turned slowly, afraid that he was again dreaming.   
"I bought you some soup. I'd make you some from scratch, but you have no food," Monica said.   
She walked toward the couch, and saw that Chandler had tears in his eyes.   
"Are you okay?" She asked, walking around the sofa and sitting next to Chandler.   
"I thought you'd left again," he whispered hoarsly.   
"Oh, sweetie! Didn't you see my note?" Chandler shook his head. "Oh, honey, I am so sorry."   
Monica wrapped her arms around Chandler and hugged him tightly. She could feel him tensing.   
She pulled away, and looked into his eyes.   
"Chandler, I do love you. You know that, don't you?"   
"I...I don't know anything anymore," Chandler said quietly.   
Monica fidgeted nervously. She never took any of this into consideration when she left.   
She had been so lost in a haze of confusion, that she hadn't thought about much of anything.   
She never realized just how selfish she had been.   
Until now.   
  
"Now that she's back from that soul vacation   
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey   
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo   
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey   
  
Now that she's back in the atmosphere   
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane   
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land..."   
  
Monica and Chandler talked through the rest of the night, and into the morning. She told   
him about her travels, and he told her how she'd broken his heart. The one thing that they   
did not discuss was the future. They were both afraid of what the future had in store for   
them. Monica was afraid that Chandler would never forgive her, and Chandler was afraid that   
Monica had outgrown him somehow. They both clung onto the night, knowing that as soon as it   
ended, everything would change.   
  
"Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet   
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day   
And head back to the Milky Way   
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind   
Was it everything you wanted to find   
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"   
  
****   
  
Six Months Later   
  
****   
  
Chandler came bounding up the steps, and flew into the apartment that he once again shared   
with Joey.   
"Hey man," Joey said, as he walked out of his room, "What's up?"   
"I got it! They are gonna publish my story!" Chandler was jumping up and down, holding   
the letter in his hands.   
"The New Yorker?" Joey asked.   
"Yup!"   
"That's so great!!" Joey said, "We gotta go celebrate!"   
"Okay, Okay. Let me call Ross and Pheobe. I'll meet you at Monica and Rachel's."   
"Cool!" Joey headed for the door.   
"Joey!"   
"Yeah?"   
"Don't tell them anything!"   
"Aw, Man!"   
  
*   
  
"To Chandler!" Ross toasted his best friend with a glass of champagne.   
"To Chandler!" the others repeated, as they clanked their glasses together.   
Monica smiled at Chandler, and as he looked at her, she finally saw that glimmer in his eyes-   
the one that she had taken from him. Things were getting better-Monica knew that it would   
just take time.   
  
The group of friends finished their meal, and headed back to Central Perk.   
Chandler settled down onto the orange sofa, and Monica took a seat next to him. He instinctively   
placed his arm around her shoulders while chatting with the group. Monica smiled. She and Chandler   
were rebuilding their friendship, something that he had insisted on doing before he'd even consider   
dating her again. He had moved back in with Joey, and Rachel had moved back in with Monica.   
Monica was hurt, but knew better than to say anything. They had both changed a lot over the past   
year; Monica had taken to heart all that she had learned while on her "soul vacation", and   
Chandler, toughened by his own experience, had grown considerably, and had made a vow to take control   
of his own destiny, instead of letting it control him. Hence, his venture back into writing.   
The two were getting to know each other again, and both were slowly realizing that, while they had   
changed, they were still connected, heart and soul, to each other. They were best friends, and   
they were the constants in each other's lives. As they walked back to the apartment, Chandler   
took Monica's hand in his. They looked at each other, smiling contently. The stars seemed to   
be shining just a little brighter, as they made their way home.   
  
"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken   
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong   
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation   
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me   
  
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet   
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day   
And head back toward the Milky Way   
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star   
One without a permanent scar   
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there."   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
And there it is, my interpretation of a beautiful song. Let me know what you think.


End file.
